Reconnection
Fiery wreck on the highway ahead reminding me of my own mortality
Twisted, burning metal with flames creeping across the lanes
I swerve and barely miss it, but stare at the rearview mirror as I continue down the road
It shrinks and shrinks until it's just a speck of orange that blends in with the sunset
No more out of place than all the smudges on the glass
All the cracks in the frame
There are webbing cracks in the asphalt as well, a sort of safety net for me to bounce off of as I crash into the ditch
Bruised, broken, bleeding, battered
I can only breathe as I blink in and out of consciousness
Unsalvageable, they said.
Irreparable, they said.
Not worth the investment, they said.
Nothing to invest, anyway- sell the car to a chop shop and use the take to pay for the medical bills.
Pick up a few extra shifts at work, carpool when I can, take the bus when I can't.
Miserable, for a time, adjusting to the change of routine
Less autonomy, more monotony, but not much different as opposed to before
But the little details endear themselves to me as more distance is built between the past
The morning air no longer just a barrier between me and the rest of the day
But ambrosia for the senses, a breath to truly savor
Sunrise parabellum, flying into what I think's a fighting chance
Connections are made just as quickly as old bitterness is tossed aside
Every transient moment before is now enriching and everpresent
No longer skimming the seemingly important details-
Placing my own importance on even the menial, the passable, the doldrums
Though it took some scrapes to access I find myself on a happy detour
The beaten path less traveled has come to be my favorite trail
And as the ravens surround, I sit on the ground and remark to myself once more
The world is a beautiful place and I am once again afraid to die