It's There.
do not read if you are prone to psychosis
It starts as a scratching.
A little tingle at the back of your throat, barely noticeable, but it's there.
Your mind does a lot to brush it off at first, it's like how you can always see your nose but your brain just tunes it out. It goes unrecognized.
It gradually gets more and more noticeable, the same way your nose in the corner of your vision is all you can think about now.
Like droplets of water down the wrong pipe, you can feel it now. It's unmistakably there, dotting and burning into your windpipes. You want to cough it out, hack it out even. You need it gone. But you can't. No matter how much you cough, the only thing you'll get is weird looks from the people around you. And if you're alone? The only thing you'll get is the feeling of someone behind you staring knives into the back of your head, judging you silently.
Now, it might feel a bit hard to breathe. The knowledge that it's there brings with it a wave of anxiety and dread. Is this how it's going to be now? How do I get rid of this? It's an itch you can't scratch, so focus on the words instead.
The mind is a suggestable thing, isn't it? Let's do a few more exercises.
Take a deep breath, then hum with me. Can you feel it vibrate in your lungs? The sensation of the melody escapes your lips and helps to drown out the shuffling around you. You didn't hear that. You only heard the hum. What a lovely tune it is. Keep humming.
Around this point, after that lovely song you should feel the urge to yawn. Even if you're not tired, you feel like a yawn would be a good idea. Maybe you are a little tired, anyway. Just a bit sleepy. Go on. Let it out. It's building up in your chest, like a balloon inflating from your diaphragm. It's going to burst if you don't yawn, and that would wake everyone up. Have you yawned yet? Good. Keep it that way.
The more you fight off my ideas, the better you suppress the scratching. Suppress doesn't mean exorcise, though- Rest assured, it will remain. This very moment, it's weakened- but if you stay alert, it may stay weak as well.
Don't cough. Don't scratch. Don't hum. Don't yawn.
And don't look at your nose.